Yes And

He looked me in my eyes and told me who I was because he couldn’t decide who I am...

Isn’t it interesting when you are asked Who are you? Not just one time, but from everyone you will ever come in contact with. It just keeps going and the nerve of people to want you to have the same answer each time. Who are you is a constant cycle of discovery for people to make sense of you. Shit, sometimes for you to make sense of you. This question is a door to possible compartments of you that are simply concrete and never fluid. This question of curiosity even derive from judgement and assumptions based on decisions you’ve once made. Let’s face it you have done some wild things and here you are... lost as a mfer. So to answer this question, you take a deep breath and hope to give the right one. You even let others answer this question for you because you don’t even know where to start. Why do they need to know anyway? What will be the consequences if I fail this test? This is more than just a question for small talk, but an analysis of cause and effect. They don’t even realize, Who are you are memories while holding on to flaws, wrinkles, and scars that have embedded into your skin over the years.

When you really think about it, actions speak louder than words right? If people construct a certain identity to answer this question for you, who is to say they are wrong? Who are you really based off actions; the actions you never speak of. I mean you did do those things. You did cheat on that man or woman. You did bully that person to feel better about yourself. You did manipulate your way to the top. You did steal what you claimed had to be yours. You did lie to create this perfect picture for yourself to hide your bruises of vulnerability. You did all of those things!! So that’s who you are right? It’s no turning back with a past so cemented. 

So What’s next? Is it even fair to be put in a box and even after years have went by, you no longer feel that way or think like that anymore? Is it fair to say there is nothing more to you? Hell No!!! So what to do? You acknowledge that you are a human being, you fucked up and that’s it. So many people are confused about what being a human actually means. No second chances, no forgiveness, and no growth. You are given one life to live, so you better make it count. Being human, you do not live one life but multiple ones. As long as time is in control, no one is ever the same person they were before. You have the right to live differently from learning from your previous lives and refuse to be labeled as only a part of you.

You want to ask me Who I Am again? Well I am ‘Yes and’. I am everything you think I am and everything you think I am not. I am everything you hold against me and everything you admire about me. I am everything you give me and everything you take from me. I AM Yes And. That is Who I Am. For you, cry your tears of regret, feel the emotional pain of heartbreak and deception, protect your soul, and fall below/above other people’s expectations. You are ______________.

Kiara Byrd