Threesome

I didn’t know Love would be this complicated. I get she can be a bit much sometimes, but she will never let me go.


When I met her, she caught me by surprise. It was senior year of college and she approached me out of nowhere. She whispered in my ear that she’s been admiring me from afar. She told me she has watched me over the years and knows all about me. She loved me and wanted to protect me from now on. I believed every word that no one else was going to love me like she did, so I let her. We went everywhere together, without us even planning it. She helped me make decisions on what to wear, so I wouldn’t embarrass myself. She didn’t allow me to put myself out there to guys to protect me from rejection. She would even give me a reality check sometimes when I would get ahead of myself. Yes, she can be possessive but, she knows me and I didn’t picture my life without her. 

When I met you, it was an ordinary day. No fireworks or cheesy meet cues, but just a simple conversation between two strangers. It wasn’t the way you looked at me that drew me to you, but the spontaneity and change of pace. You see, she hates change. So her and I always had a routine for things. But you, you were different. I didnt want to tell you about her because our relationship was.....well complicated. She was mine and I was hers, that’s it. Somehow as time went by, I started to see life without her. I started to see myself feel differently about things but you still never knew about her. I knew she would ruin everything. So I cheated. I pretended she didn’t exist because I liked the way you made me laugh. I purposely stayed out all night knowing she was waiting for me back at home whenever we parted ways. I liked the way you painted this picture for me that I am complete without her. That was my mistake, we both became suckas in love. 

Hiding her from you was my solution. I figured she would break up with me after neglecting her and not falling for her manipulative ways in bringing me back in. I figured she was not worth mentioning because I had you now and this could fix everything. I was wrong. She found out about us. She walked in while we were away together and had no intention of leaving. She caught you by surprise without you knowing that she, we, were even a thing. It was my fault, I admit it. Now here we are... staring at each other not even knowing who we are anymore. Truths are being revealed and trust is being broken, because she warned me about you. She told me that because I hid her from you that you will never accept me. I was hoping you could forgive me. I grew exhausted with having to fight with her before fighting with you and you grew tired of her getting in the middle of of everything. I had to do something about this. But it didn’t measure up to where you both would remind me that I am to blame for this. I would play these words over and over in my head until I am lying on the floor, body shaking, unable to catch my breath. She won i guess and you had your own too.

I get it. I’m sorry I lied. I apologized a hundred times. I should’ve told him about her, but she is all I have known and I didn’t know any better. He knows me now. He sticks around as much as he can because he knows she may never leave. She may not be around as much as before but he knows when she pops up simply by looking into my eyes. So to you..I know It’s hard to explain us to your friends and I know it is hard to know what to do when both of us are in the room. But because of her, I have learned to see the darkness in hearts and provide the light. Because of her, I know how it is to be reminded of pain and that the slightest chance of happiness should never be taken for granted. I know she loves me just like you. Does that still count? When people ask, be honest, that is all you can do. Tell them about this threesome, you nor I signed up for. See my heart through all of this and believe in us three.. you me and anxiety. 

Kiara Byrd